I think one of the biggest setbacks we all face is a lack of effective communication. Both personal and professional aspects of our lives are influenced quite often from not effectively communicating. I was able to experience this first hand at a management workshop that I had the opportunity to attend. It was so enlightening and humorous that I knew I wanted to share it with all of you…
The instructor asked for 2 volunteers. One would give the other instructions on how to make a peanut butter sandwich and they would not be able to see each other. The direction giver had to use 10 easy to follow steps and the direction follower had to do EXACTLY what he was told and the only question he was allowed to ask was “how”. Everything was laid out on the table; a plate, knife, jar of peanut butter, and bottle of jam.
Some of the highlights of the lesson were VERY funny to watch. A whole loaf of bread (that was still in the bag) became covered in peanut butter (he had failed to tell him to open the bag and remove a slice of bread) and the whole bottle of jam was placed on top of the sealed loaf of bread that was already covered in peanut butter (this was because he instructed him to take the jam and put it on the peanut butter that he just put on the bread).
The instructor asked for 2 volunteers. One would give the other instructions on how to make a peanut butter sandwich and they would not be able to see each other. The direction giver had to use 10 easy to follow steps and the direction follower had to do EXACTLY what he was told and the only question he was allowed to ask was “how”. Everything was laid out on the table; a plate, knife, jar of peanut butter, and bottle of jam.
Some of the highlights of the lesson were VERY funny to watch. A whole loaf of bread (that was still in the bag) became covered in peanut butter (he had failed to tell him to open the bag and remove a slice of bread) and the whole bottle of jam was placed on top of the sealed loaf of bread that was already covered in peanut butter (this was because he instructed him to take the jam and put it on the peanut butter that he just put on the bread).
The workshop, while very humorous, allowed me to observe effective communication in a different perspective. It made me see how it is so important when speaking to that other individual to ensure that we provide enough information for both parties to succeed. I was able to observe that the person who was giving the directions on how to make the peanut butter sandwich was even more frustrated than the person trying to do what was asked of him.
In the exercise the direction follower was only allowed to ask ‘how”, but each time the direction giver heard “how” he became more frustrated saying “what do you mean how just take the bread!” He wasn’t really listening; he was taking for granted that the other individual should know what he meant.
Most all of us take for granted that our friend, coworker, employee, acquaintance, sweetheart, child, etc. will know what we mean. When we are instructing or asking something of someone we often only give a brief summary of what we want and presume they will know the rest. We let our previous experiences with others get in the way of dealing with new people and often don’t provide enough information.
I like to think of communication as a scale that needs to balance. On one side is the giver and the other side is the receiver. If only one side is active then the scale will not balance. What I mean by this is even if you are the greatest communicator in the world it will not mean anything if you do not get feedback from the other side of the scale. It will not balance. Remember communication is a 2-way street. Ensure that your scale always has a sense of balance…you will be amazed at how it can change your life!
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